I have been taking my time thinking about what to share and how vulnerable I want to be yet again. A lifetime of shaming and negative thoughts about my body led to years of every fad diet on the market, every pill I could try or buy, lotions and potions and motions, and even surgery to fix my broken self-esteem. I couldn’t get it through extreme hunger or gorging on food, running for miles or lying around. Hypnosis and patches didn’t even do the trick. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, and vicarious sex only compounded the horrendous grief in my heart. Extremes on every level made me miserable including work. I won’t deny the many failures along the way. Those screw-ups and hang ups made me a real person and help build the kind of character that over time can withstand the toughest of trials.
Two years ago, right before my fifty-first birthday, I made a decision. I took a deep look in the mirror at my reflection, my own sad brown eyes, and said enough. I was so tired of being sick and tired. If I never lose another pound, if I never reach my cheerleading weight again… I am done hurting myself through self-sabotage. I chose to start feeding my body the nutrition it deserved. I chose to nourish my muscle with purposeful movement. I chose to start loving me. I did 90 days of P90X3 with Shakeology. Yes, I lost weight and inches. But, it was more about what I gained. For the first time in a long time I felt strong and in charge of my body. I felt like a BADASS ROCKSTAR that could accomplish any goal I set out to do!
Every morning I get up and stretch toward the sun, breath in gratitude and feel my heart beat with the rhythm of the universe. I suit up with whatever feels comfortable in my house that day to exercise and pull on my tennis shoes with the energy of happiness. Water and coffee start it off, then whatever program I am using to achieve my fitness goals. Shakeology works for me after the workout for full body nutrition. Then I start my the rest of my day with gratitude and energy. I am thriving and no longer just surviving!