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Midwife Support ~ Touch & Presence

midwife-supports-laboring-mom-birthcenterphoto credit: Monet Nicole ~ http://www.monetnicole.com @www.denvercenterforbirth.com

Touch is a powerful tool for easing anxiety, fear, and pain in the powerful waves of labor. Many birth workers use their presence along with gentle touch to reassure the mother they are supported and cared for during the powerful transition to motherhood. As you decide on your birth team and setting, one of the questions you should ask your provider is about the support you will receive during one of the most incredible journeys you will ever travel. You are entitled to be your own best advocate, to feel surrounded by people who have your best interests at heart, and to be touched in a loving and respectful manner. Rely on the experts who know the value of human presence and touch as one of the great tools for supporting women through labor and birth!

Peace Love & Shari ~ Dr. Shari Long Romero, DNP, CNM, CPC, CPRC
www.sharilongromero.com

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Slow Jam for an Easy Breath

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When the frantic logistics of running around, trying to explain and take care of the wreckage of your wicked past is mostly done…

And, white knuckle sobriety has worn itself out…

When fear and anxiety has lost its’ crippling power, ’cause there really isn’t much left to lose…

When you take a step, you dance because

There is redemption

And, there is compassion…

There is Grace;

And, you finally make the turn for that slow jam for an easy breath

~Peace Love & Shari

~Dr. Shari Long Romero, DNP, CNM, CPC, CPRC

Honoring the Temple: Pregnancy and Birth Without Fear

 

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In my work as a midwife, I see incredible strength time after time from women as they move through pregnancy, the powerful waves of labor, and the incredible sensations of birth. They go deep inside to find that place that allows them to open their bodies and allow the passenger to move from under their heart through their womanly passage earthside. This journey can be so intimidating and fearful when we are not revered and cared about along the way. What I work toward during our time in preparation for birth and mothering is releasing fear and truly honoring the glorious process that is happening inside the temple that is our body.

Consider the impact of fear:

· When we are afraid of loss, we unconsciously live in sorrow.

· When we are afraid of pain, we open our nervous system and pain fibers to heightened receptivity.

· When we are afraid of other’s judgement, we allow their vision of us to persuade us to act not in our own best interest.

· When we are afraid of failure, we lessen our confidence in our ability to birth.

· When we are afraid of birth, we often give up our right to the natural process.

How do we Honor the Temple?

· Nourish our bodies with good nutrition and hydration to grow the healthiest baby.

· Nurture our mind and heart with positive thought, meditation, and/or prayer to condition calm as the first response to most any situation in preparation for the new spirit.

· Avoid toxins that would alter the new life’s biochemical and physiologic development ~ stop drinking, stop drugging, stop smoking, and stop negative vibes from entering the baby’s very keen awareness.

· Build a trusting relationship with a birth team (midwife, doula, obstetrician, nurse, lactation professional, childbirth educator, etc.) that will support and advocate for you in your quest for a safe and loving prenatal and delivery experience.

· Know that not all things are within our control. There is a power greater than us, no matter what you may choose to call it, that has ultimate guidance and charge over the universe and our future.

· Live a joyful and happy life as a gift to yourself and your child.

· Feel the power and strength of the women who went before you encouraging and supporting you!

My clients will hear me say over and over, “normal and healthy mama”, as we accept our beautiful and perfect destiny toward the transition from pregnancy to motherhood. Beautiful and perfect because it is our story and our incredible journey that starts the mother-child bond that lasts throughout our time on this planet. If at any time the process falls away from the norm, we continue to be open to caring professionals who work within collaborative models of care to honor the woman and provide the best evidence-based information along with continued confidence in the ability to birth.

The very life that brought us here is the valuable one that invited the new spirit to come into the temple that is our body. That life may have been tormented in the past by worry, anxiety, and fear or it may have been free and easy all along. Regardless of the past, as the woman becomes the mother, we also become the warrior, the teacher, and the Goddess that will bless the soul within us. Live in faith that we, as women, have the right to be happy and confident in our bodies and our ability to birth!

Peace Love & Shari ~ Shari Long Romero, DNP, CNM, CPC, CPRC

 

 

 

Finding a New Joy: Who Am I Now?

Here is my recent guest blog done for my friend, Beverly Sartain, the owner and founder of Recovery Life Management where Beverly specializes in Taking Your Recovery & Life To the Next Level! http://www.recoverylifemanagement.com  

Finding a New Joy: Who Am I Now?

Dr. Shari Long Romero is a nurse-midwife practicing in Littleton, Colorado. She is also a certified life and recovery coach who specializes in empowering women with a history of addiction, alcoholism, sexual trauma, or domestic violence through pregnancy, birth, and the transition to motherhood. Shari is married and the proud mom to four children and grandmother of two. Connect with Shari at www.sharilongromero.com or https://www.facebook.com/sharilongromero/.

So often we identify ourselves by the roles we play in our self-important lives. I felt so defined by the heroic characters I portrayed as a mother, wife, nurse, and midwife that I could not imagine any image that would encompass terms like addict or alcoholic. I was forced into recovery by a regulatory board, kicking, crying, shaking my head, and denying I ever had a problem. And even if some things had happened, some really bad things, they weren’t really my fault. I was a victim. In my right mind, I would have never hurt the people I loved and cared about the most. The raging storm in my head that denied my culpability as I sat being accused time after time was just so convincing. The havoc and devastation of my life was evidence of my addictions, but I simply could not let go of who I had been and the role I still wanted to play to somehow prove my self-worth.

So much of my value came from outside sources. I was being challenged at every turn now that I couldn’t step in to the personas that had allowed me to continue playing normal during the insanity of my compulsions. My inner dialogue was deafening as I fought the help that was being so freely given to me. White knuckle sobriety was really no way to live, just a way to survive marking time. I was told in my 12-Step program to find a higher power, but I didn’t want to belong to this club, this culture. I was fixated on going back and getting it all back and forgetting any of this had ever happened. And, of course, I relapsed and denied it was my fault. I had approached sobriety as a way to avoid all the negatives instead of embracing the mindful joy of recovery.

There are so many defining moments; incidents that eventually changed my perspective over time. I guess you could say I kept learning the hard way and then finally started seeing miracles evolve in others and in my own life. I had already lost so much; nearly every single person and every single thing that ever meant anything to me. I ultimately lost all the illusions and pretenses that had sustained me. I was no longer the perfect soccer mom. My kids and the public knew my secrets. I was no longer married, which in reality was a blessing, but it felt like another failure. I was still a nurse, but I was not practicing my calling of midwifery. The healer was no longer mother earth. I was left looking at myself in the mirror without a filter and coming to terms with some painful truths. I had to make the decision that within the nakedness of my soul was a being worthy of breath and life and nourishment and nurturement. I had to find a new joy in just being me in order want to live.

The first step in this process was to let go of what I thought the past represented. All of those accomplishments were holding me back and keeping me in a place of constant regret and resentment. All the longing and wishing that my using days and the hurts I caused had never happened only served to keep me paralyzed in fear and remorse. I started every single morning as soon as I woke up with the words, “Thank you”, and I meant them. Living in gratitude literally became something I practiced every day in preparation for the marathon of life. I found that the more thankful I became for even the smallest things, the more positivity I was able to find, and the more the universe started bringing back to me.

Keeping my focus on the present and the things I could currently control changed my daily routines and gave me energy and inspiration. I wrote down goals for the day, week, and year. I also stopped apologizing. After my initial making amends sessions and realizing that I could not change the past, I decided to make huge strides on a better future for myself, my children, and eventually for the patients who I wanted to be able to serve, not only as a midwife, but as a woman in recovery. Taking on this new role, just being me, was unfamiliar and scary at first but gave me an incredible freedom. And telling the truth on a daily basis is such a relief.

The things I do as a mom, a nurse, and a midwife are all now simply gifts I am able to give back because of the ultimate pleasure of living day by day knowing that I am given unconditional love and acceptance from the one person who counts the most… me. Using my time in recovery to care about what I think of myself and how I treat myself is really the secret to living strong and free and having meaning beyond measure. I found that new joy, and I didn’t have to play any special part to get it. I just had to open up and receive the blessing that is me.

Why Peace Love & Shari?

68c05096ce518bee890a65971552ed2710469688_10203849492465025_5290919122476844842_nYou may have noticed that the whole vibe of this page has changed. I am still on an incredible wellness journey in my personal life, but through the process I found I needed to fulfill a dream to serve women with some of my same history and past issues. I know the incredible effort it takes to overcome powerfully intimidating and humbling circumstances to create a tiny human when you can barely manage your own life. I know what it means to come to terms with living life on some of life’s pretty rotten terms. When every single fiber of your being is screaming for relief from some kind of physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual pain, I know what it means to want to beg for numbness and oblivion.

The amazing thing is that the horrible things that happen to us and the resulting things that we do to cope are only a slice of our history, our past. It does not have to be the final defining moments to our lives as women, mothers, or survivors. Those profound experiences make us extraordinary champions in a movement toward recovery and wellness and living the most abundant and free life.

I decided to call my business Peace Love & Shari because I feel like I fought so hard for so long to prove to myself and to everyone around me that I was worthy of love, affection, trust, and redemption. It wasn’t until I finally accomplished nearly every single thing I set out to prove and still had people who judged my  present and my future based on my past that I simply let go, found my peace, returned to love, and claimed my own redemption. Forgiving and accepting myself was my greatest gift.

~For the woman in recovery who wants greater freedom…

~For the pregnant woman who needs clarity and guidance through all of the ad-based and institution influenced information…

~For the recovering woman transitioning to motherhood…

~For the survivor of sexual trauma or domestic abuse…

You have found your Champion. As a Registered Nurse and Certified Nurse-Midwife, I have cared for women throughout their lifetime and recently completed my Doctorate of Nursing Practice to reveal and implement evidence-based protocols into the clinical setting. An intensive course and certification as a recovery and life coach was accomplished through the International Association of Professional Recovery Coaches. As your coach and mentor, we will explore your goals and reach for your dreams while giving you access to the best resources. As a woman in recovery, a wife, mother and grandmother, and a survivor now thriving… I get it. I’ve been where you’ve been. This is where I am today, and Life is really AWESOME!

~Peace Love & Shari

Chester

Happy Father’s Day! There are some really important people in our lives that contribute to our health and wellness that we should thank today, the person or people who loved and provided for us growing up and love us unconditionally. One of those people is my dad, Chester Hunt. He has been my staunch supporter throughout my journey in life regardless of where I was or whether I was failing or succeeding. His health has been challenging, but he has always been a fighter. This is where I get my stubborn streak and ability to keep standing up no matter how many times I fall. He is proud of my every accomplishment, and he is particularly happy about my health and wellness lifestyle since he is now loving his daily protein shakes.  Thank you, Dad, for being my favorite example of a lifelong champion and all around Superman!

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What are your heart’s desires? You would be amazed at what you can accomplish when you set a goal, create a plan, and just go for it. I have spent the last 2-1/2 years working toward health and wellness from my head all the way to my heart. I am in the last few months of my doctorate program, and I am doing what I never thought I could. Nutrition and fitness are a huge part of that success. Age does not matter, income does not matter, and the time will come and go no matter what we do. So make it count! Follow your dreams. Become the expert in your life! I am proud of you!
~ Shari Long Romero

Riding the Waves

Life is a chaotic and wonderful roller coaster of choices made on a daily basis . . . sometimes moment-to-moment, to do the next right thing. How do I continue this enormously happy momentum? It can be the scariest feeling when the desires of your heart are being fulfilled. It is in the littlest things that often make the biggest difference over time. I am choosing to live the life I imagined. This journey may have started off bumpy, but I don’t mind riding the waves!

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Meaningful Moments

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Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, Marilyn Hunt! She is an amazing woman who raised three feisty children and is the proud grandmother to thirteen grandchildren and a beautiful great granddaughter. I have watched my mother work hard over the years to provide for our family while sacrificing her own needs. She is my rock, my quiet place, and one of the few people who loves me unconditionally.

My mom also lives daily health and wellness. When I visit her, she is the first to join in with my PiYo or TurboFire moves. She consistently looks for better choices in her nutrition and creates low sugar meals for my dad who is diabetic. She participates in community fitness activities like water aerobics and walks with her friends. She even enjoys Shakeology with my dad. She never gives up on being her best and healthiest.

I remember when my mom was in her thirties and forties, and I did not know just how precious those moments were that we shared laughing and talking about family, life, and love. She is in her seventies now, and I am tucking away every meaningful moment I get to spend with my beautiful mother. I am grateful for the gift of knowing her and in many ways becoming her. Happy Mother’s Day!

~ Shari Long Romero

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